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 New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!

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Gollum
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PostSubject: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 6:01 am

Seriously, if male beefyness is your thing, head out to the theater NOW.

I also had fun laughing at the horrible acting by Pattinson & Kristen. Seriously, it was Episode I Anakin bad. There's no way they can be a real life couple because 2 people who are fucking can't possibly be that dull.
Probably the only halfway cool thing was the scenes with the Volturi, that's when it kinda reminded me of an Underworld movie. In fact I think the guy who played Lucian was the head vampire. The tourist gag was pretty funny, too. Another cool scene was the wolf running shot with the Thom Yorke song. Overall the soundtrack is really badass.

Oh, and I wanted to see more Victoria. She's only in a few scenes and no dialogue. Sucks even worse is the next movie they're replacing her with Bryce Dallas No Talent Sequel Killer Who's Only Acting Because Of My Dad's Last Name Howard.

On a happer note, because I went with my wife to this now she has to go with me to Boondock Saints II, and she hated the first one.
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Get_to_da_choppa!!
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:39 pm

I went to see it last night. I had to go cos the wife came with me to see District 9 and Star Trek.

I haven't seen the first one so had no idea what to make of this but after about ten minutes it became pretty obvious what it was about so I tried to get comfortable and sleep through it but I couldn't manage it.

The plot is boyfriend splits with girlfriend cos he can't protect her from the other vampires and sods off. She sulks for about a year, she hooks up and falls in love (sort of) with werewolf chinese bloke who can protect her, she learns that Edward (previous boyfriend) is going to top himself over the split and then goes to Italy with Edward's sister to rescue him. Upsets chinese werewolf gaylord in doing so cos he's madly in love with her, and then handbags at ten paces ensues between Werewolf and Vampire Edward over her. Then it ends.

I know what you mean about the gay porn aspect. Jakes six pack gets more screen time than Edward Cullen does. And that's mostly made up of close up shots of his eyes and jawline.

Teenage girls will be diddling themselves silly well in to the New Year over this one while the rest of us will be reaching for the sick bucket. Avoid unless of course you're going to see it on a date with someone you want to bang.
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 1:29 pm

this is why mormons shouldnt be allowed to write films about the Occult Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 8:52 pm

How can them Hipopotamus things write a book?

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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:40 pm

It's ghost written, the Hippopotamus dictates it while lying on a settee eating chocolates.
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:43 pm

Are we talking about the same thing?

scratch
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 9:53 pm

I'm explaining to you how Hippopotamus's can write books about rampantly homo-erotic vampires & their beards.
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:09 pm

I think I got mormons mixed up with the moomins. Its been a long week.

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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sun Nov 22, 2009 5:54 pm

I'll let you off based on the fact you were forced to watched New Moon Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:37 pm

Cheers. Its gonna take me a while to get over the trauma.
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:53 pm

Try alcohol that should help.
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:21 pm

Give yourself a stranger that should numb the pain Wink
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:27 pm

Try figging that should help Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: New Moon = best gay porn movie of the year!   Fri Nov 27, 2009 12:06 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFSn5rs70Rc&feature=player_embedded


lol!
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